RAMBO STRIKE!

So, another blog entry. This will probably be long, and full of boring crap you don't want to read.

Well, a month after I made my last post, I finally took off from Canberra, saying goodbye to the what, 5 people I knew there?

My Mum came from Canada to come grab me, we drove to Coffs Harbour first, where I was born, and lazed around the beach for a couple of days. Then we headed off to the Gold Coast. It's a pretty nice place, lots of beaches, and also the things that you come to expect with beaches are quite nice.

After a couple of days there, we headed up to Brisbane, basically to see my Godmother for a week. It was a good time, lots of big dinners and family gatherings, etc.

Then we packed up early in the morning on a Saturday and went to Sydney. Man. What. A. Long. Drive. Like 18 hours. When we got there it was pretty nice though, we had this hole in the wall hotel, you could barely stand up in the shower, but whatever, we were right on Manly beach, so good times were had while we spent our last 2 days in Australia.

Finally we got to the airport, waited around a hell of a lot, and got on a plane to San Fransisco. I must say, what an interesting place.

We got off of the plane, went through security, re-checked baggage, etc and then we decided to go to Fisherman's Wharf. This is basically a place near the water where everyone looks like a convict trying to steal shit from you. So I was basically busy the whole time protecting my laptop and several other costly goods in my bag instead of enjoying the nice day.

Since I was so freaked about getting stuff stolen, we decided to head down to the actual piers, now. It was some holiday in the US, so NO one was at the piers working. Creepiest place ever.

What made me jump? Fucking Sea Lions. Seriously.

Anyway, after that we went and got some chowder, and headed back to the airport to wait a whole bunch more (by the way, the streets of San Fran are fucking insane. I don't know how people afford to drive cars there, they must be repaired daily).

Anyway, on to Vancouver. Now, I spent a week here, basically recovering from jet lag and walking around the most awesome city ever. Lots of fun was had, even though I was perpetually tired there. Here comes the *best part of my trip. I got on a plane to Calgary a week later, and the flight was relatively uneventful until we reached Calgary's skyline. Massive turbulence, the plane was actually turning on its side. Freakiest moment I've ever experienced. The pilot was a dick and decided to try and land, we almost crashed into goddamn Deerfoot Trail. The plane was rocking so bad, and we were like 20 metres above the runway. RIGHT at the last second, he pulled up.

5000 feet in 20 seconds. My stomach was screaming at me. THEN he banked around the city and tried again, it felt exactly the same, and the plane was shaking itself to death.

We landed, I kissed land. Grabbed my bags, and met the parents. Crappy trip. Still, not as bad as the trip TO Australia.

When I got back to Calgary, I spent basically the next 2 weeks 'catching up with people'. We all know this means getting severely trashed every night.

Good times, then I had to get on with a job hunt. I found a job at Black's and worked there for a while, while I continued to socialise relatively often for the next month. Then I got fired at Black's. (I should add, I have a severe camera addiction problem. I want one NOW).

Anyway, after I was fired at Black's I job hunted unsuccessfully, and basically got back into sleeping and socialising full-time.

Fast forward to today and the last week I guess, I started school again and the other day I got a call back from a computer store for an interview on Tuesday (finally, some possible money flow)

I've also met some awesome people in the past week and a half, they know who they are, and everything has been fantastic. Until yesterday.

I have a cold. It sucks. I want to commit seppuku.

Anyway, I believe this update is decent enough for now. Time to go recover from this bullshit cold.

BACK TO CENTRE

-Ryan "Purple" Hayes

Creating a blog you say? Writing you say? Drunk you Say? Ahhh.

Hey hey all. Once again, I'm back in the mood to create a post (rare, I know). Lots to talk about of course, but without trying to be completely verbose about it, I'm moving back to Canadaland. Explaining why this is more exciting than when I came to Australia is extremely difficult, as people don't really understand. The main reasons for going back are these 3.

• Friends: I've been missing them a lot, it's hard to function in Canberra, as everyone is very uptight and cliquey. There are certain people I miss more than others, you know who you are.
  
• School: I have conditional acceptance into a school in Calgary, so I look forward to getting back into the studying game, and getting a degree finally.
  
• Sex, booze, cheap computer parts and world domination: Self-explanatory really.
  

As I type this, I am highly inebriated as I've been drinking my rationed alcohol that's been in store for a while. I went shopping 30 minutes ago, that was interesting, and I ended up picking up a 6 pack of Grolsch, can't say it's that good.

As I am going back to Calgary, I've put in my resignation at work, I'm not sure that they are terribly impressed about it, and I feel terrible for doing so to them (as my coworker is also quitting) but I think I need to be selfish, and to care about what my direction in life is right now. So basically, screw them. That said, I still have 3 weeks to go, and I need to work extra hard to get a bloody reference letter :frr:

My life has suddenly got quite exciting (well for me, the majority of you couldn't care less, probably). I am finally going to school, I bought a new laptop finally, girls seem to be lying down for me (and so do guys, seriously, what's up with that? I mean, I don't mind being hit on by guys, but SO many of them) and I'm just generally excited that I'll have a proper social life once again. I am a Seraph(webmaster) at Heaven Games, My "Heaven" for the game Spore has not opened yet, but I am excited about building up its community. Right now I'm just wondering around the site creating a mess for everyone. (sorry :P)

Man, content is tight tonight, I've honestly got nothing. So far today, I woke up to the words "HELP ME!" as an entire curtain fell on my Dad, and I needed to help him get it back up. Then they took of to Sydney to get their new car (they are due back soon) and I've been drinking/talking to people (I even sang Bananaphone to someone). and then shopping, and more drinking, of course.

Tomorrow is going to suck a bit, I have to get my passport application in (if some of you don't know, I hold dual-citizenship with Canada and Australia, and I lost both passports on my way from Canada into the States when coming here last year). So I have to get a cop to sign my forms, and then submit them to the Canadian High Commission here in Canberra. My work doesn't know about this, but they sure will at 11am tomorrow morning when I finish all of this stupid bureaucratic paperwork!

Anyway, that's it for now. I must clean up my mess.

Peace people!

So your sheep wear pajamas. Interesting.

As I was sitting in my local Subway listening to the thumping beat of Erasure, I decided to take pity in myself as I sat down to eat my assorted meat, vegitables, and fruit wrapped in a warm bun. As it started to rain heavier, I cussed, then the woman at the counter gave me a stare that meant "get the fuck out of my fast food franchise before your self-pity drowns us all." So naturally, I gave her a look that said, "thank you Buddha (he's my religious icon for the week), for putting such excellent, voluptuous bosoms on my sandwich preparator {pre·par·a·tor (pr-pr-tr, -pâr-) n. One who prepares specimens or exhibits for scientific study or display, as in a museum.}[yes, my footlong sandwich is considered an exhibit, I mean with those breas...erm, I mean pieces of bacon, it's fiiiinnne]

So as I exited the Subway, into the torrent of rainfall and bad drivers, I decided that I would go and buy pain numbing pills (as a quick side story, one of the bad drivers in my city of traffic circles decided to go 60km/h around one, and he bumped, no, COMPLETELY FUCKED my right wrist*ahem, composure Ryan, you can do it!*) Skip about 10 minutes of dodging more cars and water droplets(the droplets would just not move, I don't know what their problem is, seriously) I made my way into the sub-pharmacy (because the real pharmacy was closed. Lazy, good for nothing minimum wage employees!) and looked for pain pills. Now, on my list of pills, I require something with "ine" at the end, obviously morphine is out of the question, since some bastard things people get addicted to it (shakes violently). So, codeine is what I had to settle for, however, apparently it's a prescription drug, so I couldn't get it in the bloody grocery store (at this point, I was ready to commit suicide, but baby Tylenol just wasn't going to do it for me), so naturally, I picked up the strongest weak drugs I could get, some pr0n magazines, and pacifier to bite down on when I get scared of the boogey man.

So, you ask, what was the point of that story, and why were you bathing in your own pity? Because my parents don't want me leeching off of them, so I have to move out in a week and a bit, but as a great friend named Paul pointed out, a lazy Uni student needs at least 6 weeks to find a place to live, now I'm a much less common denominator than a Uni student, I'm a prospective Uni student. See the difference? I think the italics do a good job in pointing it out.

Anyway, after much arguing with my Father, I got a whole extra day to search! YES! SCORE!

In a quick changing of topics, I am now staff at a website called HeavenGames. I know what you're thinking, "Ryan, how could you join a site that obviously likes people who believe in Heaven, you're a Buddhist switching Scientologist (in about 5 minutes) fundie!"

I know, I know. But I just couldn't resist the chance to have my name be Purple, and actually have it the colour purple. That's totally why I did it, no questions about that. (unless of course it's one of the higher ups. I did it because the voices told me to, that's what you want to hear, right?)

Since I'm publishing everything I'm thinking, I have absolutely no idea what to write, it's obviously going to be the same drivel as what I've already written, in that case, why are you still reading, I don't think I've actually considered or read a word that I've typed so far. In fact, I've been watching Heroes this WHOLE TIME (awesome show by the way, watch it. Along with Scrubs and House)

So, it turns out I need sleep, because I have to catch up on a day of HTML coding in 4 hours tomorrow morning. I BID YOU GOODNIGHT!

Purple/Xiphias/Ryan/That guy you think you know, but you really don't, because he has hidden feelings for you, are they good? You'll never know.

You heard her, off with your pants!

So this is what, the 5th blog I've made an attempt at?

*pats self on back*

Yeah, so I'm going for more of a "not depressing" theme with this one, only highlights of my overly exciting life, well, only some highlights, some things are just too messy or illegal to blog about. You never know, China might come after me because I disagree with their internet censorship. WHOA, I just said way too much.

Well, if I type really fast, maybe I'll have hope at posting this blog before they start shooting me with Kung Pow chicken and Beef Chow Mein!

So, life has been relatively exciting lately, it's gone decidedly uphill after my brush with being really poor and unemployed (a quick summary: I quit work because the pissed me off and I didn't have a backup plan). I got a job at G.D.B. International, apparently they don't really care whether or not I actually have the qualifications for my job description, but hey, I'm not complaining. My official job title is "IT Technical Support Officer for the Consumer Division of G.D.B. International." Try and stick that on a business card and smoke it!

Anyway, most of my job is basically chatting on MSN, checking emails (both personal and work, but they are mixing in quite fast. It's not like anyone but me monitors other people's emails) and bragging to people about how kickass my job is over gaming forums. Speaking of those forums, I was recently appointed "Seraph of Spore Heaven." Basically, that means that I'm HG's [insert derogatory female word here] until I decide that I hate HTML (well, basically, I shouldn't be in the position now, I never really liked HTML all that much). It's going to be pretty cool, I get to be the webmaster of the site, boss others around to write news posts for me when I get lazy, and I have the power to see into other people's lives.

Ah yes, later this week I am going to see Roger Waters (if you don't know who he is, or at least the group that he is apart of, I'm sorry, but you must leave now. NOW!) live in concert in Sydney. I made a really great decision when booking my bus tickets and accomodation. I didn't really take into consideration where the venue was, and decided to have my bus stop right next to the Youth Hostel (YHA), what this means is that I'm about 40 minutes away from Acer Arena, in the CBD. That time is basically if there were no cars in Sydney at all. So you know, it could be likely if there was a war that started on Wednesday and ended around 12pm Thursday, before I get into Sydney. (I'm looking at you Shrink, and you BE!)

Oh, and since chatlogs are endlessly awesome (you know, just like my mass of blogs!), here's something awesome for you!

Purple says (9:41 PM):
You know, people laughed at me for putting a dangerously sharp bottle opener made by the Microsoft Mobile promotion team on my backpack, but I'll be the one laughing when I'm covertly opening bottles in my bedroom.
shrink says (9:41 PM):
:O
shrink says (9:41 PM):
why would the Microsoft Mobile promotion team give you a dangerously sharp bottle opener?
Purple says (9:42 PM):
Because I'm a ninja? Why else?
shrink says (9:42 PM):
OR they're trying to get you drunk
shrink says (9:42 PM):
subtly
Purple says (9:42 PM):
No, don't tell me that!
Purple says (9:42 PM):
I'm not supposed to respect Microsoft
Purple says (9:43 PM):
*goes into denile*
shrink says (9:43 PM):
they are very cunning
Purple says (9:43 PM):
Very cunning linguists those promotional people are.


Yes I know. You'd think I was drunk, but I haven't even finished the first bottle of Stella yet!

Last week I decided that I would buy all of the parts I need for my new computer at the computer fair this weekend (you know, with all that money I earn at my awesome job), but today I decided against it. I am going to save my money up and buy an IBM Thinkpad, I mean, I have a laptop from work, but I wouldn't actually want to attempt to lug around that ZD8000(it's a beta release of this laptop). I will probably buy a motherboard this weekend, but in all honestly, going to visit friends in Canada in June/July is going to be much more enlightening than playing WoW in 4x AA and 1280x1024 @ 30fps. Although, I better have a decent desktop for when Spore comes out, or I'm going to cry.

Other things going on in my life that aren't worthy of their own paragraphs:
Driver's licence: I'm getting it soon, promise!
Car: Umm, sure, if you want to convince yourself that you can afford one, Ryan.
Motorcycle: Much more promising, I might just steal one, much cheaper.
Buses: They suck, and I hate Fyshwick, SO MUCH. But my awesome job is there, so it doesn't really matter what I think, does it?
Girls: Well, they would be worthy of their own paragraphs. If the majority of them didn't suck, and leave for Sydney with a days notice! Seriously, there's not bitterness here at all, seriously none. LOOK AT MY EYES, DO I LOOK LIKE I'M LYING?!?!
Oh, and as a side note to girls, Cosgo is awesome.
Children: I still despise a fair few of them, they aren't so bad, but I think I could be a better parent than those fuckwits I see out there all day (again, NO BITTERNESS WHATSOEVER, YOU HEAR ME?!)

Anyway, I'm off to drink some more beer and play Burning Crusade until I become hopelessly addicted and I don't go to work and I die in front of the radiance of my screen.

Ryan "Purple" Hayes